Pale as a angle taking flight

It was 2 weeks ago, I was in camp. Phone rang and it was my elder brother, when I pressed the green button and picked up. He said " mum is gone", I could not bring myself to believe it. I cried hysterically in the office while changing to rush back home. I managed to calm myself down in the cab and thought that it too sudden for her death and at that point of time I still can't accept the fact until I have seen it for myself.

When I got home my younger sister and mum boyfriend was at the living crying out loud for my mum. So I entered my room and saw her lying down, and I kneed down trying to wake her up but to no avail she was gone by then. Helplessly burst into tears and my mind was blank. Guilt and sorrow filled on my mind, I should have treated her better but it was too late. The worst thing was I have not even fulfill my duty as a son towards her.

Whenever I got home, this house was no longer the same as the past, filled with her nags. I yearn for it now. Suddenly I feel very lonely, I need her, I love her and very apologetic towards her.